Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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