Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize