rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
