We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
