the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you will always have a special place in my vag
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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