my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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