i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
