just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
