I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
