So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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