The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
