he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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