Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
