it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize