There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize