I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
