My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How naked do you want me to be?
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