member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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