You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
