i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Help. Why am I so naked?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
