wanna go halves on a baby?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
