She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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