you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
