Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
