Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
