Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
