I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize