Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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