Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
