I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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