Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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