I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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