Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
