I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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