She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
