Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

Come on the kid is gayer than me

(757): View more from Virginia

Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE

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(616): View more from Michigan

Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Well now I have my semen on her headphones

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(971): View more from Oregon

I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?

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(951): View more from California

I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.

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(303): View more from Colorado

When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.

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(620): View more from Kansas

You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.

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