Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
