No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
