Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
