I want to have your abortion
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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