so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
