Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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