i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
