the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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