How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
