You're so nebulous sometimes
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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