but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
