Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
