Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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