Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
