I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
