Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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