Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
