you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
