Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
