My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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