no, he came in my armpit
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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