Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
