your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
