i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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