If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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