I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
