i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
