I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
