I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
