it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
