Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
