Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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