"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize