omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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