Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
