its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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