So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Pants are for mortals
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
