If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
