the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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